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literature

I still exist.

Posted on 2013.07.13 at 12:43
I rarely if ever actually use Livejournal, but I do still exist. You're better off finding me on fanfiction.net though.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Posted on 2010.09.04 at 17:50
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: You Kept It All In - The Beautiful South
(I found this on someone's fanfiction profile. Enjoy.)

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

A moment of silence.

Introduction thingy, I guess.

Posted on 2010.07.09 at 22:41
Current Location: United Kingdom
Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: Meat Loaf - Bat Out Of Hell
I don't really do the whole blogging thing much, but I suppose I ought to at least post *something* here - if only to stop people confusing me with whoever had this username before I came along.

So, uh, hi.

I'm Loten, which according to a werewolf story I read is a medieval English word meaning 'moonlight bright enough to see by'. I'm 23, I'm female, I live in south-east England. Unfortunately for me I live with my parents, because I'm unemployed and can't afford to move out; me and three million others. I'm single. I have one older brother. I have a zoology degree from Aberystwyth University, the completely useless climax to a very expensive education. Huzzah.

I write fanfiction under the name Loten on fanfiction.net. You can check it out if you like? I doubt I have enough of a following to ramble about my fics on my blog. I have a deviantArt account too, and one day it might even have some art on it.

If anyone gives a damn what I look like, which I doubt, I'm 5'4", with long dark brown hair and blue-grey eyes. I wear glasses, and I have one of the three tattoos I eventually plan to get.

Writing is my main hobby; it's overtaken reading as my major vice. I'm a big-time fantasy fan - I'll read almost anything as long as it has werewolves, magic, or both. Except Twilight. I'm sorry, but I like my vampires to not be sparkling Mormon stalkers. I read other genres too, but fantasy is my main love.

I've noticed recently that all my major ships seem to feature tall, dark-haired, dark-eyed, black-robe-wearing, clever wizards. Make of that what you will.